Saturday, 20 June 2009

belligerently boring + facile

just poasting some pseudointellectual brain vomit, don't mind me

Saturday, 21 February 2009

Grand Theft Holiday


R.I.P. the half term that never happened.

Monday, 2 February 2009

Edgy and Modern

Hello everyone I am now extra vapid. I will talk about how I enjoy wearing y-neck shirts with the buttons undone to show off my masculine chest. I will also talk about how I am going to bleach my hair and maybe go on a sunbed. I wear grey joggers because I am a cool dude, and pastel colours because I'm fashionable like that. You know, I might even wear a distasteful tan leather jacket over it all to top it all off because FUCK YOU, FASHION.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

Testicular Fortitude


I thought I had come up with that phrase myself and I was quite pleased with it. But it appears that Mankind of WWE fame beat me to it.

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Return of the King


Evening bloghaus, that was a long 10 day abstinence from you, I'm sorry.

Stupidity at college has increased at an exponential rate recently. Some retards have moved near my Dalehead turf and their spastic shrieks shatter the soft background hum of Dalestrasse, bemusing me. This is not just one of my complaint rampages either because I'm not the only person irritated by it, so intense were the deadly rays of stupidity they gave off that the purple-haired one (your hair's lovely if you're reading btw) just couldn't take it anymore and erupted in a fiery gout of rage. I wasn't quite sure how to react when Tina started shouting at the aforementioned cretins but it was the most satisfying display of testicular fortitude I have seen in a long time, second only to the deocularisation of Dan Parry (R.I.P.). Also wow 'deocularisation' seems to be a word, the spellchecker hasn't underlined it.

Good news though, the post-winter solstice weight gain appears to have been reversed by a diet of Go-Ahead bars and mineral water. It reminds me of my year 11 days, I'm never hungry and I never eat, because I never do anything, ever. Except when I go on the treadmill and fuck up the whole balance and have to compensate for my exhaustion with Spaghetti Carbonara and I've derailed my train of thought which is now smashing into a bridge support killing many tens of innocent seconds and missing punctuation marks.

More good news, my Psychology exam was on Wednesday and it was far easier than I expected, thank you OCR. Biology was today as well, I feel like I've done pretty well, answered every question right and read them carefully. I've got Computing tomorrow, quite possibly the hardest exam I'll ever do, wish me luck.

The Album of the Now this week is whatever Killers album has Mr. Brightside on it. I don't like The Killers or any of their songs really but my sister has woken me up every morning at 6.30AM playing it in her room, which enraged me at first but it means I can get up, get ready and have breakfast without rushing so I don't feel like shit all day.

Oh also I want to get my hair cut soon but I can't decide how to have it. I'll probably just end up getting it the same as always but I want to try something new. It'd be nice if the new ultra strong Fudge clay was out over here, I'm in the mood for making my hair really spikey. In fact, I would just look laughable and a massive prick. I'll just get my hair the same as always, fluffy and mediocre-to-average. I'm reluctant to have it cut because I have a habit of asking for it shorter than I actually want it to feel like I'm getting my £15 worth.

Danny Brett Striker Birkett witnessed me buying emergency provisions in Tesco on Tuesday, V05 Taming Spray. He called me a 'gayboy' and took a picture. I objected to this by saying that using taming spray doesn't make me a 'gayboy', it makes me 'pathetically vapid'. I sure showed him.

Oh yeah Marcus if you're reading I'm not coming to Marxism 2009 because I go on holiday sometime around then, sorry.

Anyway I feel like I have written more in this single blog than all of the combined work I have done over the past week in lessons, and that is a serious statement too. Night blogosphere.

Monday, 12 January 2009

Why do I play the gunship Call of Duty level constantly instead of revising?

Sunday, 4 January 2009

No Intelligent Input

2009
This year is the 'International Year of Natural Fibres' as designated by the United Nations.